29…almost!

This weekend, we kicked off birthday celebrations. I have to say, new friends are doing a great job planning birthday festivities. Crissy’s friend of a friend of a friend (which is basically how we know everyone we know) Ivan invited us “Indian dancing” Thursday night. Sounded interesting enough so figured we’d join….more out of curiosity than anything else, but….turns out, miscommunication over the phone and it was “Indie” music night at Irish Village. Basically, all western expats hang out there, dance around stupidly in this giant tent until the lights come up. We turned up and first thing, run into another friend of a friend of Crissy’s, Chris. Four weeks in Dubai and we’re already running into the people. Ten years in Chicago and I think it’s happened maybe twice that I run into someone I know. Dubai’s an eerily small place. I have to learn to gossip about people without using names because inevitably, whoever you’re talking to knows someone who knows someone who knows who you’re talking about. Danger. Anyhow, so me, self-described worst dancer in the world, who only dances when having a few too many “beverages” (and that only happens rarely, I promise Mom) was dancing all night…aided only by a couple of beers. Turned out to be a really fun night, complete with conversations with stone statues….I’ll post pictures later. Still can’t upload from my camera but photos are coming soon I promise.

Friday - It all started innocently enough. Crissy, Mila, Chris and I went to the “bottomless” brunch at Al Muna in the Mina A’Salam Hotel at Madinat Jumeirah. All the places we hang out are extremely touristy and resort-like (which is probably why we still refer to our time in Dubai as “the trip” even though this is life now! Can’t complain!) Anyhow, brunch consists of endless champagne, Pimm’s, bloody Mary’s, along with a massive brunch buffet, and when I say massive, I’m not kidding, lots and lots of food is consumed over the course of 5 hours. We had grilled lobster tails, prawns, Indian foods, crabs, oysters, sushi, beef tenderloin, omelets, lambchops, satay, and that’s not even all of it. After the binge eating ended, Crissy surprised me with a birthday cake – which we’ve now laughingly call the “chocolate banana calamari mousse cake” (I’ll explain in a minute). The staff came over and sang to me…fully embarrassing, but really sweet. Here's the pic (all prim and proper right?)

before

And then...now let me explain, the three of them are a little mischievous, to put it mildly. Chris likes to play practical jokes on people….you’d have to have been here to fully appreciate this and I won’t tell any stories here, but trust me, prankster doesn’t even begin to cover it. Anyhow, the cake arrives and they tell me, I have to take a “handsfree” bite of the cake, which I do. After which Mila goes “I totally wanted to smash her face in that.” Now, after several drinks, we all actually think that’s pretty funny. Crissy pulls out her camera and is like, “I need another picture of your face in the cake, you need to do another bite.” Chris just sits by laughing and saying “I totally am going to shove your face into that cake if you do it again.” Crissy “pressures” me into taking another bite, and after 3 hrs our drinking and eating, I succumb to the pressure….and of course, no big surprise, Chris shoves my face into the face. Can’t say I didn’t ask for, it but it was pretty funny. The bite I got had some unidentified chewy ring which was oddly about the look and consistency of calamari. Still have no idea what it was, I didn’t get the flavor because I promptly spit it out but….anyhow, I’m now being referred to as “wildebeest” (if you haven’t seen this video on youtube.com, here’s the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XURwBbwUymE ….. make sense now?) Anyhow, we basically all needed to have a nap after the daylong brunch so we turned in for a nap to prepare for round 2. (again, pictures will be posted at a later time)

and after

In the evening, we decided to have a quiet night out so we went to the Arabian Courtyard at the Royal Mirage hotel, had tea and shisha and an overall relaxing evening. We do know how to do low-key on occasion. (here's the proof)

see?

Saturday, we went to Barasti Bar which is on the beach at Le Meridien hotel to watch the Rugby Finals. I know I’m repeating myself, but it’s so strange to hang out at places that feel like you’re on holiday and realize that this is real life. Couches on the beach, bars on the beach, good music, fun people, it’s like permanent spring break! Anyhow, had a pretty relaxed night there watching rugby, until the search for the cab and the cab ride home. I haven’t laughed so hard in a really long time. You guys know me, this was full on, stopped breathing, silent laughing….I think I almost peed my pants!

So, the three of us are getting tired, decide to take off, Crissy and I are a little disappointed that England lost but the thought of work in 7 hrs was a little more daunting so we just wanted to get home and go to bed. It was already 2am. We go out to get a cab and are directed to the valet line where probably a hundred people are congregated. This does not bode well for us getting home any time soon. People around us are completely wasted. This really skinny cockney sounding Brit which spiky punk hair, red leather shoes and a really tacky pinky ring for bling starts just talking absolute ridiculousness. Mila and I are entertained by his “conversational skills” and turn around to find Crissy chatting with our friend Chris (I told you, Dubai is a really small place!) He’s been drinking since noon, so he’s in a rather hilarious state. Skinny boy, who we learn is called Nicos, steals a cab from all the others waiting so we decide to just pile in with him. On the way to his hotel, maybe 500yds away, we learn that he comes to Dubai every year for 37 days to detox. He’s got a penchant for shopping and particularly shoes (hence the red leather shoes). He claims Dubai’s great for shopping, women and drinking, makes him forget about the drug habit! Altogether hilarious character.

We continue on our journey, and this is so un-PC, but we see a midget on the side of the road. The conversation then went something like this:
Chris (to cab driver): I really like midgets. What is the Arabic word for midget?
Cab Driver: (now most of these guys have no personality and are very straight-laced so to see him snickering is making us all laugh) sahib (?)
Chris: I really like the sahibs. You know those little mini-bananas? I really like to eat those. I feel like a big gorilla (now mind you, I’d describe Chris as a jolly, kinda bigger guy, dark hair,…a little gorilla-like, Chris is gesticulating as a “big gorilla” while making this affirmation)
By this time, we’ve gotten to Mila’s house, we drop her off and the cab-driver needs a minute because he’s full-on crying from laughing so hard. This is probably a good thing because we're all laughing so hard, we can't talk anyway. He dabs his eyes, and then proceeds on. Now, he had a little of that Dubai-taxi-driver-don't-know-where-you-want-to-go thing goin' on so we're now behind Mall of the Emirates and he's asking if we want to go to Ski Dubai in the mall? Anyhow, the rest of the cab ride is pretty much downhill from there and while I don’t mean to be a tease, for anyone interested in more of the cab ride, e-mail me and I’ll tell you the story, but it’s just not appropriate for a public blog. I think I may have crossed some line of propiety in the above anecdote but…hey, you wanted to know about my life right?

Tonight, we’re going to Movies Under the Stars at Wafi City (which like all other “cities” in Dubai is not a city, but rather a mall/shopping center). Apparently, they have a nice rooftop garden where they show movies outside in the fall/winter/spring. That should be nice. Anyhow, that’s all for now. Will update you more later. Two blogs in one day + a 5 hr Arab consumer & GCC/MENA market orientation (those learnings will likely be shared in another blog)….I’m wiped out.